I know I vowed not to rant in public, but I wonder if it will help rid the invisible hand that has been squeezing the heart for months now.
Lfe has been a roller coaster since the year broke out. Roller coasters ARE fun, but sometimes, just during that sharp turn, or that tumble down phase, can make you dizzy. Some people are born tough enough to enjoy the ride and not turn green at the somersaults. A few of us though, are not. While we don't really think twice about boarding the roller coaster, there are some turns that make us wonder if this trip will end at all, or if the rest of life would be spent in these lurches. Impatience, uncertainty and too many choices make three months seem like a lifetime, and we can't wait until we are on even ground again, little realising that there is no such thing as even ground - just small plateaus in an otherwise sinisoidal terrain. Change is the rule of life, and patience a virtue, some of us yet to learn.
There are so many paths in front of me, which to take, which to leave? And there are invisible gates, the keys of which are not in my hands When will I learn the wisdom to know the difference between things within my control and those without ? Will the churning at the bottom of the stomach ever stop? Will I find the heaven of freedom from fear? I am so desparately seeking the courage I lack, where to find it? How to find it ? Which masochist will willingly embrace worry with full knowledge that it is interest on loan not taken yet?
Breathe. This too shall pass.
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